Funny bicycle "DUH" moments

[mikeeebikey]

With out being overly mean or crass tell us your funny bicycle "here's your sign," moment!

I buy, fix and sell cheap bikes off Craigslist, I rarely make money, if I do it goes back into the bicycle fund, but this most recent sale leaves me warm, fuzzy and giggly.

Got a Huffy Catilina for the 3 speed rear hub, relaced an older Hi-ten? Hu-wan? some oriental coaster brake I have never heard of back in the wheel. I'd checked it out before hand rebuilding it, everything looked really good, no wear on the brake pads, the clutch was good, hub body good.
So I posted it to craigs and got a call, a woman, wants to know can the seat go up? Of course I tell her, she comes while I'm at work and rides it, buys it(less than I had in it), and while doing so mentions she wishes that the brakes worked better to my girlfriend.
I didn't think much of it, I'd rode the bike and it easily locked the back tire, I didn't have to jump up and down on the pedals, just back pedal a 1/4 turn and "screeech."
The lady calls me back the next day, I ask if she has a problem, she says, "You said if I ever needed parts to call you, can you put hand brakes on this?"
I say, "don't the coaster brakes work?"
She says, "I just keep on going and going, no matter how long I wait for it to slow."
I ask her without laughing, "did you try pedaling backwards?"
She says, "NO," "That'll ruin the gears....."
I tell her to try it, call me back.

 

[LungTube]

I bought a BFK on clearance for $30 from WM and have had it put up. I don't ride it, it just looks pretty. I had it out one day a couple years ago and the wife asked to ride it. I hesitantly agree, I figured a 35 year old new how to ride a bike. Our driveway had a good downhill to it, I just use to pop the clutch on the car and go it was that good. She hops on it and I look at her and say, "Don't wreck it!". She looks at me and says,"I know how to ride a bike". I go back to doing what ever I was doing and looked down the driveway to see her in tears walking the bike back. I ran out to her and see she wrecked and skinned up her whole right side arm and leg. I take the bike from her and lay it down and walk her into the house(I was really pissed but not about the bike). I tended to her scrapes cleaned out the gravel and didn't say a word about the bike. After she settled down I asked her what happened. She replied, "There were no brakes" and made a motion with her hands. I said it has a coaster brake and (she looked all puzzled) you have to push the peddles backward. Apparently in her home country they only have handbrake bikes. Surprisingly the only damage the bike took was on the apes and a little on the hand grip which was way less than she took. She took a lot of damage and couldn't walk for 2 days. I would have gladly had the bike more damaged then her. I asked her why she chose to wreck in the street than ride into the grass yard across and she didn't have an answer. I told her grass and dirt is a lot softer and easier on the skin than asphalt.

Now let me explain why I was mad. It wasn't about the bike I could careless about it compared to my wife. I was mad at the fact she just hopped on and took off without looking to see if it had her style brakes. I am the type of person that would rather go over something 100 times with you then you tell me you know what you are doing and do it wrong, possibly hurting yourself. I laugh about it now but she fails to see the funny in it.

 

[outskirtscustoms]

Not quite bicycle but it fits the category.
My by far funniest moment was when I sold mopeds and scooters on craigslist. I had a Vento Triton R4 which is a fairly decent size scooter. I have a guy e-mail me and wants it so we set up a time for him to see it. He comes and I was in the back yard cleaning and polishing the dust off of it and topping off the fuel. He test rides it, loves it, and buys it without haggling the price at all ($650). So we walk around the house to put it in his vehicle and then I see it.....He's driving a SMART CAR!

I ask him how he's going to get it in there and he just looks at me like a deer in headlights, scratches his head for a minute, and asks if he can leave it there for a night and he will come back with his wife and he'll ride it home and have his wife drive the car back. I asked if he wanted to hold off on buying it and he says no that he wanted it and didn't want to chance someone else buying it. I told him all sales are final and told him that's fine but if he didn't come back in 30 days I'd re-sell it, he'd already given me the $650 I was asking so I thought nothing of holding it for him for a while.

Well the next day goes by and nothing no word from him so I send an e-mail...nothing. A week later it's still not picked up so I try to call him and it goes to voice-mail, I leave a message still nothing....30 days later still nothing I call, e-mail, and leave a few more messages, finally 2 months later I call him and he answers! I ask him when he was going to pick up his scooter and he says I can keep it because he is afraid to ride it that far and he doesn't have a way to haul it. I re-posted it and sold it for $650 again! A free $650! I wish I could have deals like that every day!